Eternian SpydorNet Presents:
by raven lynn morrigan
Summary: one-shot series SPOOF #1 i'm too sexy song and 80s Battlecat and Skeletor throw it down on the dance floor making an online video to find out who is the sexist dancer.
1. i'm too sexy

**my obsession with all things 80s Battlecat version lead to this and how it came to me...you don't want to know. i wanted so bad to make a flash video of it but i'm just not talented enough to animate it so i'm going to attempt to write my idea in story format as a one-shot. i take some liberties with the locations i picked for the sake of the hilarity that is about to ensue-if nothing else i at least hope this is so stupid its funny and you get a good laugh out of it. here on earth we have the internet. for the sake of this story let us pretend that on Eternia there is something similar that i like to call "SpydorNet". yeah i know it could have been WebstorNet but that just doesn't have the same ring as SpydorNet.**

**EDITED SLIGHTLY TO BETTER FIT THE SONG AND ADD MORE DANCE MOVES  
**

* * *

**Eternian SpydorNet Presents: I'm Too Sexy**

Somewhere within the depths of Castle Grayskull is a room with a video camera connected to a computer with a sound system nearby. A disco ball hangs just above the cameras field of view. A green paw holding a universal remote sneaks into the frame of the camera which shows the wall as the feed from it travels live through the computer and out onto the Eternian SpydorNet and into homes everywhere. One button is pushed and the disco ball is lowered and begins to spin as the main lights dim. Another button is pushed and the sound system starts pumping out the "I'm too Sexy" song. The paw leaves the frame and moments later Battlecat struts into the picture swaying his hips and swinging his head in time to the music as the lyrics begin.

-ESP-

Meanwhile at Snake Mountain, Skeletor activates his viewing globe but all he gets is snow.

"Blast it this infernal thing is on the fritz again! Now what am I supposed to do for entertainment?"

Panthor pushes a portable computer logged onto the SpydorNet toward Skeletor.

"What's this?" Skeletor picks up the computer and watches for a moment as Battlecat stands up on his back legs and does a spinning dance turn. "This is what you do all day? Watch that infernal Battlecat dancing?"

Panthor punches a button with his paw that brings up a screen which shows that Battlecat is the biggest SpydorNet star in all of Eternia.

"What?! Battlecat the biggest star on the planet? What are they thinking? I should be the biggest star!"

The purple cat shrugs indifferently and punches the button switching back to Battlecat's live web cast. He shakes his hips to the music and bobs his head as he watches Battlecat turn around backward and swing his tail around in circles.

Skeletor notices the word LIVE blinking in the top left corner of the video feed frame. "Live eh? That gives me an idea."

Panthor waves his paw at Skeletor motioning him off to carryout whatever evil scheme he has cooked up and let him watch the show in peace.

Skeletor waves his havoc staff and opens a portal to Battlecat's location.

-ESP-

Battlecat still working it up on his back legs as waves his front paws in the air in some approximation of disco dancing doesn't notice the portal that Skeletor emerges from.

Skeletor starts grooving to the music then dances into to frame. Not content with sharing the spotlight he hip checks Battlecat knocking him out of frame and sending him flying across the room. With the show all to himself Skeletor really gets his grove on the music.

-ESP-

At Snake Mountain, Panthor does a double take staring slack-jawed as Skeletor appears on the screen.

-ESP-

Battlecat gets up and dusts himself off. No way is he letting Skeletor steal his spotlight. He gets right back into the groove of the song and dances back into frame-this time its him that hip checks Skeletor sending him flying to the other side of the room.

Not to be denied his chance to be a star Skeletor dances right back into the frame.

Still bogeying down Battlecat tries to shove Skeletor away.

Skeletor shoves right back forcing Battlecat out of frame again.

Battlecat charges Skeletor and this time they end up in a fight rolling around on the floor.

He-Man rushes in to see what all the yelling and roaring is about above the blaring music. When he spots the camera hooked up to the computer which is sending out the video feed on the SpydorNet the fact that Skeletor is inside Castle Grayskull is lost on him. He-Man steps into the frame and starts dancing.

-ESP-

Panthor watches He-Man for a few moments then starts laughing.

-ESP-

Battlecat and Skeletor stop fighting and just sit on the floor stunned staring at He-Man slack-jawed.

He may be the strongest man in the universe-but He-Man can't dance.

Battlecat and Skeletor turn to each other and nod. They've got to put the planet out of the misery of watching this. They both get up and pounce on He-Man and this time a three-way fight breaks out.

Skeletor breaks out of the fight and starts dancing again. He makes a cat like clawing motion as the "I'm too sexy for my cat" part of the song comes up.

-ESP-

Panthor hisses at the screen, incensed as Skeletor does the cat bit.

-ESP-

He-Man tackles Skeletor to the ground pulling him back into the fight.

-ESP-

As the song ends at Snake Mountain, Panthor moonwalks on all fours out of the room.

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**welcome to the insanity that is my mind. if enough people like this crazy thing and review the story i may add more one-shots to make it a whole series of snippets gathered from the Eternian SpydorNet. one more idea is in the wings just waiting to be written and my man had another idea for one he wanted me to write this morning so if you want to see more review and let me know you want it. you have an idea for one post it in a review-if i write it for the series you get credit for the idea.  
**

**NEW poll question in my profile-check it out.**


	2. mr roboto

**my 2nd spoof idea for this series of one shots. i'm so torn 4 me its 80s all the way except 4 both Roboto and Syclone-no wait Stinkor too-of which i prefer the remake versions. can i have 80s BattleCat with 2002 Roboto in this one please? no? :'( oh well... (its 80s BattleCat and 2002 Roboto in my mind anyway)**

* * *

Eternian SpydorNet Presents:

Roboto (also feat BattleCat and Orko) in

Mr. Roboto

BattleCat starts the camera feed...followed by the music and focuses on Roboto. Its dark with only the lights from various control panels lit up in the background but you can see his silhouette against them.

"Are you sure about this BattleCat?"

Off camera BattleCat's voice can be heard. "I do this all time. Just relax you'll be fine."

"I don't know...Man at Arms might not like us in his lab."

"After what I caught him dancing to in here? He won't care what we're up to as long as I don't post the video of him on SpydorNet."

"What if I'm not any good at this?"

"You can't be any worse than He-Man. Just shake those DataTrax. Okay this is it you're on." Just before the lyrics start BattleCat punches a button on his remote turning on the lights.

Not knowing what else to do-Roboto strikes a pose and moves onto several more during the remaining beats of the intro.

BattleCat smacks himself in head as Roboto oh so originally moves on to do the robot. He moves over to his computer and starts playing around with the settings to jazz it up a bit at the touch of a button there is at first one then several more doubles of Roboto dancing on the screen.

Really starting to get into the dancing now after another series of poses on the beats Roboto shifts into some break dancing.

BattleCat takes away the multiple dancing Robotos and puts a funky psychedelic shifting background of colors onto the background behind him.

Watching from the doorway Orko decides to have a little fun and spice up the video. He works his magic on the computers in the background causing them to get up and start moving.

BattleCat does a double take as more dancing objects appear on the screen behind Roboto. He turns to look seeing the computers in the lab getting up one by and starting to dance. He rubs his eyes at first hoping its some sort of hallucination but when he opens them they are still there. He looks around panicked not knowing what to do.

Orko works his magic on some more computers closer to BattleCat.

The computers get up and march in time to the music over to BattleCat.

BattleCat tries to scramble away but one of them grabs his tail and drags him toward the other dancing computers behind Roboto-leaving behind scratch marks deep in the floor.

The computer dragging BattleCat flings him through the air by his his tail to another of the computers. They all take turns tossing the big cat back and forth in the air.

Orko cracks up laughing in the doorway so hard he forgets about levitating and crashes to the floor. He proceeds to roll around on the floor laughing.

Roboto strikes a few more poses to the music then switches to vogueing.

BattleCat flails his legs trying to grab onto the light fixture with his claws in attempt to escape the computers clutches. "WORST MOSHPIT EVER!" He struggles to hold his lunch in as one of them throws him in a twisting double somersault. "I'm getting airsick up here!"

-ESP-

Panthor watching the live feed cracks up at BattleCat's misfortune.

-ESP-

Several of the computers grab hold of BattleCat and join together to give him a really big toss.

BattleCat manages to grab on the ceiling with his claws and dig in tight.

Roboto puts on a high energy sparking light show from his gears for the finale of the song.

The tiles BattleCat has his claws in tear loose from the ceiling and he crashes down on top of the computers.

When the music ends Roboto looks around at all the messed up computer equipment. "I knew Man-At-Arms wasn't going to like this."

BattleCat crawls out from under several of them and collapses panting heavily. Its then he spies Orko at the door.

Orko keeps laughing until he sees BattleCat glaring at him. "Uh-oh!"

BattleCat charges up. "Orko!"

Roboto grabs the camera-pulling out the live feed but recording the action as BattleCat runs after the retreating mischievous Trollan.

* * *

**this one didn't turn out to be as funny in its first draft as i'd hoped so i added in Orko to shake things up and boy did he deliver. what i like most is BattleCat freaking out while Roboto is oblivious to everything but his dancing. like the first this would be so much better as a flash animated video. did you catch what BattleCat said about Man-At-Arms? You-yes you get to decide just what it was that he filmed when part 12 rolls around. Man-At-Arms hammer dancing to 'U Can't Touch This' or doing the 'Macarena' either way that one is going to be very funny.**

**visit my profile to cast your vote. there are a couple of open polls so you may have to refresh the page a few times before you get the right one.**


	3. pocket of a clown

**An ESP featuring Orko as requested by my cousin's boss as mentioned in her review. Pocket of a Clown picks up where the previous Mr. Roboto left off. BattleCat or perhaps Roboto has edited it and added the music before uploading it onto the SpydorNet. I thought this song was perfect for Orko.**

* * *

Eternian SpydorNet Presents:

Orko (feat BattleCat and various others from the Palace of Eternos) in

Pocket of a Clown

Orko keeps laughing until he sees BattleCat glaring at him. "Uh-oh!"

BattleCat charges up. "Orko!"

Orko zooms out of the room as BattleCat chases after him.

BattleCat skids as he rushes out the doorway and turns a full 360° before smacking into the wall. He gets his footing quickly and continues his chase after Orko.

Orko dashes into the kitchen looking for a place to hide.

Chef Allan looks down as Orko flies between his legs. When he looks back up BattleCat bowls him over.

Making a sharp turn Orko quickly flies out of the kitchen and zooms down the hall away from the pursing cat. He dashes into one door and closes it behind him.

BattleCat crashes open the closed door and runs inside.

Orko flies from the room and into the one across the hall.

BattleCat slides on a rug crumpling it up then turns and chases Orko across the hall.

Orko zooms out of that room and into one on the opposite side at the other end of the Hallway.

BattleCat follows into that room only to see no sign of Orko.

Orko zips out of a room in the middle of the hall and back into the first room.

BattleCat turns in time to see Orko go back into the first room. He races back up the hall only to find Orko isn't there now.

Orko zags out of the room across the hall and back down into the last room BattleCat left.

BattleCat turns and goes into the room in the middle of the hallway.

Orko zigs to the room across the hall.

BattleCat runs out of the room they first went into and runs down to the room at the far end of the hall Orko left.

They meet coming out of the rooms in the middle of the hallway.

Orko whizzes down the hall and into the training room where He-Man and Masters are having combat practice. He rushes between legs left and right.

BattleCat stays right on Orko's shirt tale knocking over everyone in his path.

RamMan gets knocked off his feet and into the wall which he bounces off of. Landing on his legs he then bounces up the ceiling. Coming back down he bounces to the other side of the room and hits another wall which he crashes through with the momentum he's built up.

They leave a heap of dazed and banged up Masters in their wake as BattleCat chases Orko out of that room and back down the hall to the kitchen.

Chef Allen ducks as Orko zooms over his head then jumps only to end up in the saddle facing backward as BattleCat runs beneath him. Chef Allen screams as BattleCat leaps out the window that Orko flies out of.

Orko speeds over a hedge and above the fountain on the other side.

BattleCat jumps the hedge but forgets about the fountain and crashes into it getting himself and Chef Allen soaked.

Chef Allen bonks BattleCat on the head with a wooden spoon.

Orko turns around backward as he flies and sticks out his tongue at BattleCat. "Na Na Na Boo Boo! You can't catch me!" Not looking where he's going Orko flies into something. "Oof!" He turns around and looks up to see Man-At-Arms standing there with a sour expression on his face.

Man-At-Arms grabs Orko by the collar before he can zip away and hands him a broom and points to the mess that visible all around from the wake of the chase.

Orko sighs as the takes the broom and heads back inside.

* * *

**dang i wish i could animate flash videos! Scooby Doo chase scene i think everyone must have seen that coming from the moment that BattleCat lit out after Orko-they may be predicable but they're still funny. don't forget to vote for which song and dance Man-At-Arms should get caught doing in his lab. check out the poll in my profile page refresh it until you get the correct poll as a couple are currently open.**


	4. Cotton Eyed Joe

**no one is safe from the Eternian SpydorNet. especially when certain large odd colored cats have access to video cameras. this one is for my cousin Chloe P. Stewart who picked out the song. i went a little different route with this one. i hope its still as funny as the other ones before it.**

* * *

Eternian SpydorNet Presents

Teela (also featuring Prince Adam and special appearances by Cringer, RamMan, Skeletor and Panthor) in

Cotton Eye Joe

After a long days work over seeing her duties as Captain of the Royal Guard-Teela finally gets a chance to sit down and log onto the SpydorNet to check out her messages and the latest viral videos.

"How does so much junk get through to the inbox?" She clicks delete to several of them without even bothering to open them. "Spam...more spam...what the?" Teela pauses reading the subject line. "New potion guaranteed to make any man a He-Man in the bedroom." She shakes her head. "Who comes up with these things? And why do male oriented product advertisements show up in my email? Its not like I'm a guy." She clicks delete to several more messages then comes across a bunch of messages from people she doesn't know. "Who are all these people and how did they get my email address?"

"Teela_CaptainoftheRoyalGuard isn't exactly hard to figure out."

Teela looks up startled. "So says PrinceAdamofEternia "

He shrugs before entering the room. "Check out any of the latest viral videos yet?"

"Not since the one was posted where Orko was being chased around by BattleCat. That part at the end where BattleCat and Chef Allen ended up in the fountain made me laugh until I cried."

"I like Roboto's better. He is dancing away and doesn't notice BattleCat getting tossed around by computers in the background. That moshpit crack was hilarious."

"The best one ever was BattleCat and Skeletor in that 'I'm too Sexy' video."

"I must have missed that one."

"You should see the part at the end when He-Man comes in and tries to dance. He was so bad its funny."

"I heard about that." Prince Adam tries to change the subject. "So what videos have gone viral today?"

"Hold on let me check." She clicks out of her email and brings up the trending videos. "Lets see...'I'm too Sexy' is still up there followed by 'Pocket of a Clown' and 'Mr. Roboto'...I don't see anything new...on wait here's one. Its called 'Cotton Eye Joe'...I love that song!"

Prince Adam moves to where he can see the screen. "Click on it and lets see what its about."

Teela clicks on the video. "A BattleCat production."

"Seems like everything he has paw in goes viral. I bet He-Man hopes he doesn't go into show business permanently."

As the video begins to play Teela is shocked to find that its her line dancing to the song. She tries to cover the monitor with her hands.

"I knew you liked that type of music, Teela, but I didn't know you were that into it."

Cringer wanders into the doorway but stops when he hears the music coming from the computer.

"I am so going to kick that BattleCat's butt the next time I see him!"

At Teela's threat Cringer backs silently out of the room. Sometimes he really hates being BattleCat.

"That explains where all the emails came from. Must be from all your adoring fans."

"Laugh it up Adam. I'm sure its only a matter of time before BattleCat gets you too."

Adam moves her hand away. "At least you can dance. I would be worse than He-Man."

"No one could be as bad as He-Man was." Teela tries to cover the screen again until she can click off the video.

"Come on stop trying to hide it. You're really good at that. Maybe He-Man will call you for lessons when he sees it."

"Yeah right."

"I'm serious."

RamMan pokes his head in the room. "There you are Teela. Me and the Masters saw you on the SpydorNet and were wondering if you would teach us to dance. We were thinking of making our own video and well we don't want to look at bad as He-Man did."

-ESP-

Meanwhile at Snake Mountain. Skeletor happens upon Panthor watching more online videos. "Is the 'I'm too Sexy' video still #1?"

Panthor moves the screen over to show him the latest rising star on the SpydorNet

"Teela eh?" Skeletor watches the video for awhile. "Get the video camera Panthor its time we make our own viral addition to the Eternian SpydorNet."

* * *

**btw-those are NOT real email address i just made it up for the story-the .net part of it is redundant which is why i thought it was funny. don't forget to vote for which song and dance Man-At-Arms should get caught doing in his lab.**


	5. Bad to the Bone

**Skeletor's solo dancing effort with a little help from Panthor.**

* * *

Eternian SpydorNet Presents:

Skeletor (also feat. Panthor, a Robot Hunter, and special guest appearance by BattleCat) in

Bad to the Bone

Panthor aims the camera-tries adjusting it only to get a blank screen on the computer feed. He looks at the camera again and scratches his head with a fore paw. Playing with the settings on the computer doesn't help either. In frustration he whacks the camera and the lens cap falls off. He growls at it before swatting it across the room in disgust.

"Panthor are you ready with that infernal thing yet?"

He mouths Skeletor's words mockingly and sticks out his tongue blowing a raspberry before sitting down at the computer. With the press of a button he turns on a smoke machine then activates the live feed to the SpydorNet. With the press of another button he starts the music.

On the music cue Skeletor rides into the room on one of the Hunter Robots. He is wearing a leather jacket and shades as he jumps off the Robot and struts toward the camera. Once he gets close he does a sharp turn and takes off the leather jacket. He swings it around in the air several times swishing his hips to the music before flinging it on the handlebar of the Robot Hunter. He makes a strutting 180 turn before swishing his hips-showing off his backside to the camera. Skeletor then turns 90 and struts across the room.

Panthor yawns sure that this isn't going to impress anyone. He picks up a sign and holds it up for Skeletor to read.

Skeletor does a double take at the sign which in very crude terms tells him to spice it up. If Panthor wants spice Skeletor will give him spice. He decides to turn on his very best Elvis hip action during the musical break.

Panthor does a double take at the screen as more and more people start logging on. He hold up another crudely worded sign.

Skeletor gaps at the sign momentarily before kicking it up another notch. He struts over to the Robot Hunter and jumps up on it doing more Elvis moves.

Panthor turns away from the screen and grabs hold of a guitar he tosses to Skeletor-air guitar is just not going to cut it if the bone brain wants to be a star.

Skeletor catches the guitar does a turn on top of the Robot Hunter and starts miming the riffs.

-ESP-

Meanwhile at Castle Grayskull BattleCat logs onto the SpydorNet. He does a double take as all of his recent postings have fallen a notch. He scrolls up to the number 1 spot to find a live feed from Snake Mountain. "Oh no he didn't!" BattleCat clicks on it to find Skeletor dancing on top of a Robot Hunter with a guitar in hand.

-ESP-

Panthor switches on a high powered fan and aims it at Skeletor blowing off the cowl and revealing the long thick black fake rocker mane wig hidden beneath.

Skeletor shakes the fake locks letting them blow in the wind as smoke billows all around him. He does a split leap off the Robot Hunter then tucks and rolls once he reaches the floor sliding in front of the camera where he continues to mime rocking out on the guitar as he leans backward.

-ESP-

BattleCat plugs his ears as screams of delight ring out through the castle. He pokes his head out the door. "Its Skeletor you kooky bird lady get a grip on yourself!" He turns back to the computer screen fuming. He does not like having the spotlight stolen by the bone brain. The question is what does he intend to do about it.

-ESP-

As the song ends Skeletor takes off the sunglasses and tosses them on the camera lens as he walks away into the smoke filled room.

Cutting the live feed Panthor checks the stats and starts whooping it up.

Skeletor rushes back to look at the stats. "Yes! I did it I'm a star! Take that BattleCat! Who's number 1 now huh?" After he calms down Skeletor turns to Panthor. "We need to have a long talk about your vocabulary mister."

* * *

**If anyone out there is interested in animating these ideas for the fun of it PM me.**

**don't ****forget ****to ****vote ****for ****the ****song ****Man-At-Arms ****is ****caught ****dancing ****to ****in ****part ****12-poll****in****my****profile. ****i ****post ****two ****one****shots ****per ****week-this ****is ****#5 ****that ****leaves ****3 ****weeks ****left ****for ****every one ****to ****vote ****on ****which ****they ****want ****to ****see.**


	6. Kung Fu Fighting

**request by my man-Ayden. sorry it took so long to get to it hun but i didn't want to put this one in too close to the first one since it features BattleCat and Skeletor again.**

* * *

Eternian SpydorNet Presents

BattleCat and Skeletor (also feat. Roboto and Panthor) in

Kung Fu Fighting

BattleCat sits in front of his computer within the depths of Castle Grayskull. And he is not happy. As we peer over his shoulder at the screen we can see all his recent videos are falling in popularity on the SpydorNet thanks to the bone brain and his "Bad to the Bone" video that has been number one for some time now. He taps his fore-paw on the table before finally logging into the instant messenger.

theorginalbattlecat: I'm too Sexy turned into the most popular video online for a record breaking length of time. I have an idea for another video. Want to team up for real this time?

-ESP-

At Snake Mountain Skeletor looks up as Panthor brings him the portable computer. "More emails from my adoring fans?"

Panthor shakes his head and boogies out of the room practicing for the secret project he has in the works.

Skeletor watches him go before looking down at the computer. "An instant message from BattleCat eh?" After reading the message he begins typing.

skeletorthefirst: Yes that was very popular. Are you sure that wasn't because everyone watched it to see just how bad He-Man was at dancing?

-ESP-

BattleCat ponders the message on the screen. He had never considered that part before. He shrugs before typing again there is only one way to find out.

-ESP-

Skeletor reads as the message appears on screen.

theoriginalbattlecat: I guess we'll never know that for sure if we don't try again.

skeletorthefirst: You have a point there. But how am I supposed to know this isn't some trick by He-Man and the Masters?

theoriginalbattlecat: He-Man and the Masters are currently taking dance lessons from Teela. I have a neutral location in mind.

skeletorthefirst: Neutral location?

theoriginalbattlecat: The Sands of Time. Just you me and Roboto who is going to film it. Bring one of your henchmen if you wish.

skeletorthefirst: Blah! They would just try to steal the spotlight. Roboto? Is he a good camera man? This needs to be really good.

theoriginalbattlecat: Roboto filmed Pocket of a Clown that wasn't done to music I added that in later.

skeletorthefirst: That was good camera work. Alright the Sands of Time it is. What do you have in mind? More dance fighting? That might seem a little predicable after the I'm too Sexy video.

theoriginalbattlecat: More like Kung Fu Fighting this time.

skeletorthefirst: I love that song! Excellent! Name the time.

theoriginalbattlecat: An hour?

skeletorthefirst: I'll be there.

Skeletor puts down the computer and goes to find Panthor.

Panthor looks up from his music collection at Skeletor who stands in the doorway.

"Want to go to the Sands of Time while BattleCat and I work on a collaboration?"

He waves Skeletor away with his fore-paw as he finds the perfect song. He puts the disc in his personal player and dawns headphones.

***ESP***

An hour later Roboto waits with BattleCat in the Sands of Time. "Are you sure this is a good idea? What if Skeletor is planning an ambush?"

"Skeletor wouldn't let his henchmen steal the spotlight." BattleCat finishes hooking up the last camera. "Okay you control the zoom for all of them from the computer. The remote will do the rest." He hands the universal remote over to Roboto." We will have several angles to work with when the music is put in as its edited. You got the music track?"

Roboto starts playback on the music track as a test.

"Good we'll play it out here but we only want it for reference."

"I believe the audience will be more pleased with a dance fight."

"We'll save that for Kung Fu Dancing if this idea pans out."

Skeletor finally makes his appearance. "Better make this quick I can feel a sand storm brewing in my bones."

BattleCat looks up at Skeletor. "I'm ready to start when you are. I thought going with the flow of the music would look better than choreographed moves."

Skeletor plants his havoc staff in the sand. "Sounds good."

They both move to the center of the cameras that are stationed up on sand dunes.

Roboto presses the master record button on the remote. "Rolling cameras!" He presses another button that starts the playback of the music.

BattleCat and Skeletor each tie on headbands then bow to each other. They circle each other-both sizing each other up during the into. Then both take a stance as the lyrics start.

Roboto finds it very frighting when the two start whaling on each other after a bit of sparing-but he keeps silent this is their video after all and they can do whatever they want.

Skeletor and BattleCat fight in time to the music.

BattleCat leaps over Skeletor who tries to deliver a karate kick to him.

Skeletor fakes out BattleCat making him think he's moving one way as he bobs only to quickly move the other and kick out at his hip.

BattleCat tumbles from the blow but quickly gets back up and launches into a twisting leap that connects with Skeletor's midsection sending him reeling.

Roboto makes a note to put a stop motion 180 camera swing on that move in editing.

Skeletor comes back making a series of swing arm motions at BattleCat.

The two move fast as lightning as they continue to land blows on each other.

BattleCat reels on one back leg after another blow from Skeletor turning as he almost falls only to land a blow to Skeletor's jaw with his paw.

Dazed by the blow Skeletor tumbles backward but manages to bend backward bringing his hands down and flipping out of it landing on one knee and the other foot. He quickly plants his hands in front of him and launches a dance inspired kick as he moves into a handstand-knocking BattleCat's legs out from under him.

BattleCat isn't quite fast enough to avoid it and he tries to flip over backward only to land on the saddle and roll over it onto his front paws. He tries to do a handstand on them but the weight of the saddle pulls him back over and fall on Skeletor.

Roboto quickly zooms in getting a shot of Skeletor's expression before BattleCat falls on him.

Both get up as the music fades out and bow to each other again before collapsing in the sand after having beat the crap out of each other.

Roboto looks down as he stops the cameras. "I did say dance fighting would have been better and less painful from the looks of it. At least that was better than He-Man's dancing attempt"

Skeletor wouldn't mind having one of Panthor's crudely worded signs to show the robot.

Both BattleCat and Skeletor lay in the sand groaning.

* * *

**poor He-Man no one is ever going to let him live down just what a bad dancer he was in the first one. the screen names used for BattleCat and Skeletor are a play on the fact that these one-shots are based on the 80s cartoon series and toys and not any of the remake versions. they were the original and first so that's why i wrote them that way. also there is a hidden meaning to Skeletor's related to something that the voice actor mentioned he posed about a spinoff idea on an audio commentary track. those are your only clues. if you are the ultimate fan and know it or don't know but correctly figure it out and are the FIRST TO PM the answer to me-then in part 19 you get to chose the song that The Masters make an online dance video to. you have until October 8th to get the answer. in the meantime check out my poll and put in your vote for what Man-At-Arms is caught dancing to in part 12.**


	7. Diggin' Up Bones

**from the mini comic-Skeletor's Dragon (that i somehow miraculously still have after all these years)-Battle Bones gets his own viral video. this song just seemed perfect for him and the idea of a skeleton dinosaur like creature dancing while something tries to steal its bones struck me as hilarious.**

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Eternian SpydorNet Presents:

Battle Bones also feat Dragon (from the same mini-comic) in

Diggin' Up Bones

Skeletor's Dragon digs ferociously at pile of dirt indifferent to the cameras set up scattered about the area and music playing in the background. As he uncovers a spiny bone he sinks his teeth in and attempts to pull it from the dirt.

After a few moments dirt starts falling away from the mound as it begins to shift.

Dragon holds on as the bone moves.

Soon other bones begin rising out of the dirt. As more dirt falls away Battle Bones stands and shakes himself off.

Dragon yelps startled and jumps off the moving skeleton but stays close by hoping to steal a bone away from it.

Battle Bones picks up a big top hat and cane hidden behind the dirt pile. He dawns the hat and holds the cane in both boney front feet as plants it on the ground. He then bends his knees to the sides bobbing up and down to the time of the music.

Dragon digs his claws through the dirt sizing up his chance to pounce on a leg bone.

Battle Bones turns to the side and kicks his legs out as Dragon makes his leap. He then begins preforming a dance akin to that his dancing idol Michigan Frog is famous for as the chorus of the song begins.

Dragon flies through the air from the force of the kick. He lands on the ground and tumbles end over end for some distance. As he comes to a stop he shakes his head and growls as he turns back to the dancing bones.

As the dragon comes back Battle Bones pulls off his top hat and ends up smacking away the dragon that takes another leap at him as he turns to some old timey vaudevillian dance antics.

This time Dragon is knocked backward into a tree-which he slides down. He sets there dazed a few moments as stars dance in front of his eyes. He quickly gets back up and runs for the dancing bones again.

Battle Bones rears up on his boney tail executing a spin which causes the dragon's leap for his foot to miss.

Dragon skids head first into a rock. He gets back up running again only to be bopped away by the cane which Battle Bones twirls one handed.

As the dragon comes back Battle Bones swings his tail in an approximation of BattleCat's famous tail swinging move with his rear facing the camera and bats the charging dragon clear over the hill in the background. Holding the cane in his teeth as he turns to face the camera-Battle Bones does some tap dancing on all four feet really getting his bones rattling. He then gets up for one last Michigan Frog styled pass as his finale.

Dragon gets up charging the dancing bones fast. This time he is sure he will get him. He aims straight for the head planning to knock it off only to over shoot as Battle Bones takes off his top hat and bows with a flourish in front of the camera.

Dragon tumbles and bounces all the way down the hill they are on as dirt and small rocks cover him as he finally come to rest. He tries to dig out in time to see the bigger boulder that smacks down on top of him as the music fades out.

Battle Bones looks at the camera and grins as the picture fades out.

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**i love this one even more than the first (I'm Too Sexy). A Panthor request was slated to appear in this slot but due to circumstances that came up in the extended family as i was working on it the song chosen for him left a bad taste and i think about that every time i hear it and can't do the Panthor story justice with it so i'm bumping him back to part 11 with a whole new song and idea behind it that in the end i think will work out better for him anyway. don't forget to vote in my profile poll for the song Man-At-Arms was caught dancing to in part 12.**


	8. Bicycle

**I was listening to Queen and the Stinkor toy was just sitting on the shelf and when one song came on an idea started brewing in my head and lead to this story.**

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Eternian SpydorNet Presents:

Stinkor also featuring a varied cast of others in

Bicycle

Stinkor is cleaning out the attic of Snake Mountain as a part of his chores when he spots a cloth covering something. He puts down the box he has and pulls the cover off. He gasps looking at it fondly flashing back to his childhood. In old film grain and sepia tones he remembers getting a bike for Christmas and all the mishaps he had learning to ride it. Snapping out of it Stinkor abandons his job checks out the tires and airs them up. He then wheels the bicycle out to the lands surrounding Snake Mountain.

Beast Man holds up a black shirt

Stinkor dawns a white one.

A dog barks at Stinkor

Stinkor chomps his teeth-biting at the dog.

Trapjaw holds up the movie Jaws.

Stinkor shakes his head no.

Two-Bad has the movie Star Wars.

Stinkor gags at it as he continues on.

A car salesman offers him a Rolls Royce.

Stinkor waves it off.

A religious guy asks if he knows the Lord.

Stinkor grabs a card board cutout of Skeletor and hands it to him.

Clawful stands there holding out a box of pizza.

Stinkor continues on.

Frankenstein stands there all scarey.

Stinkor passes like he isn't even there and hops on the bike running down a cardboard cutout of He-Man shaking hands with Superman. After a bit of a shaky start as he gets the hang of it again he breaks looking down the ridge at a bicycle race getting ready to start. Stinkor turns as he is tapped on the shoulder.

Skeletor holds out a broom pointing at Snake Mountain.

Instead of taking it and going back inside Stinkor rides down the ridge and joins the line up for the bike race. He sits there happily ogling some fat bottomed girls on either side of him. He takes his mark-gets-set and rides off at the call of the announcer. He quickly passes the competition leaving them all behind in the dust. He shows off on some ramps doing lots of complex stunts. Even rides a loop the loop ramp with no problem. He hunkers down speeding up and sails over one very long jump and joins back in the race in time to win it.

Evilyn offers him coke at the finish line.

Stinkor opts for cake instead.

A salesman has a selection of cutouts of famous Johns.

Stinkor chooses John Wayne.

Whiplash offers him a hotdog lunch.

Stinkor only takes the Cola that is a part of it.

A politician offers him the chance to be President of America on some far off world.

Stinkor refuses.

A newsman holds up a camera telling Stinkor to smile.

Stinkor says cheese as the flash goes off.

Triclops offers Stinkor fancy wine.

Stinkor takes a gulp but spits it out yelling geez as a tax man hands him an income tax bill. He shakes his head no to a booth manned by Panthor signing up soldiers and jumps a gate that dams back water. He leaves everything behind riding off into the sunset.

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**last week to vote in the pole for what song man at arms is caught dancing too in part 12.**


	9. The Way You Make Me Feel

**Panthor's dancing effort as requested by my cousin known as iq battle winner on here. i started this with another MJ song-Bad for part 7 i thought was perfect for Panthor. then some major issues erupted in the extended family. i won't go into what happened or who with but the song and idea of using it just got tangled up with it in my mind and i couldn't work on the story without getting pissed over the whole thing all over again and losing focus so i pushed Panthor's story back in the order for later until i calmed down to try again and used Battle Bones and Dragon from a mini-comic to make something off the wall and funny instead. so part 09 comes up in which Panthor was moved to and i still can't use the intended song-but in the intervening week i remembered about Beast Man's Pretty Kitty used to tempt Cringer away to capture him in one 80s episode. and after that i found some other MJ songs perfect for Panthor to work with Pretty Kitty in a viral video and finally settled on this one.**

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Eternian SpydorNet Presents:

Panthor also feat Pretty Kitty in

The Way You Make Me Feel

Panthor moonwalks in on all fours with Pretty Kitty lounging non-nonchalantly in the background. On his head he wears a hat-spats on his back paws and a glove on one front paw. After a spinning turn he stands up on his back legs. He leans to the side to give the momentary illusion he is off balance and stops at a seemingly gravity defying angle from the floor then stands up straight-making it look effortless just like his idol during the musical intro. He then turns strutting on all fours swinging his head until he reaches Pretty Kitty. He dances around her before holding out a paw toward her.

Pretty Kitty yawns just flicking a paw at him to brush him off as if she isn't impressed by his display. She eyes him hungrily though as he moves off to try more dance moves to impress her.

Standing on his back legs Panthor holds his front paws to his sides and does a wiggling shuffle move to the side then repeats it in the other direction. After a spinning turn he removes his hat and rolls it from one hand down his arm-across his back and down his other arm. He spins it on a finger before rolling it back down his arm-back across his back and down to his hand. He twirls it in his hand before placing it back on his head. He adds some staccato hops to his shuffling moves that he repeats before slinking temptingly back to Pretty Kitty.

She shakes her head before lowering it back onto her paws-its going to take much more than that to impress her. Pretty Kitty eyes him as closely as he slides away for more dancing.

He does a handstand on one paw spinning around for awhile before he tucks down continuing the spin on his back. He finally comes to rest on his side sweeping his paw down his body as if to asks what Pretty Kitty thinks of his physique.

Pretty Kitty cocks an eyebrow at him but still shakes her head wanting to see more. This time she gets up in a predatory stance as if she is ready to pounce.

Panthor busts out the secret weapon the butt shaking tail twirling move that BattleCat has made famous.

This time Pretty Kitty makes her move-slinking seductively over to Panthor.

Panthor takes Pretty Kitty into his arms and dances her around the floor up close and personal. He dips her low before bringing her back up and twirling her around the floor. He winks at the camera before taking off his hat and throwing it over the lens as the music fades out.

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**the first part was clearly MJ inspired dance moves. i'm not sure they all were though. i think i might have ended up making some of them up just because they sounded cool.**

**last week to vote in the pole for what song man at arms is caught dancing too in part 12**


	10. Bad Boys

**no one other than my cousins seem to be much interested in these. i'm only going to write the Man-At-Arms one from the poll after the two this week unless someone out there other than my cousins want to see more-i'm done with this series.**

* * *

Eternian SpydorNet Presents:

The Henchmen and Henchwoman of Snake Mountain also feat. Skeletor in:

Bad Boys

As the music starts various henchmen are partially shown dawning hip hop attire. Stinkor a bandana. TwoBad with baseball caps worn at an odd angles. Kobra Khan dawns a dread lock wig.

There are two lines one with Stinkor-Clawful-Jitsu-Trapjaw-Modulok-Whiplash-and Evilyn. In the other line are Webstor-Merman-Beastman-Spikor-TwoBad-Kobra Khan-and Trikylops. They line up staring down each other before backing off to opposite ends of the floor.

Skeletor looks them both over then takes his throne before motioning them to proceed.

Stinkor proceeds out onto the floor and begins throwing down his best hip hop moves.

Webstor comes out trying to out do him.

Skeletor sitting up on his throne holds out his hand pointing to Stinkor.

Clawful comes out next-with some spinning break-dance type moves on the floor.

Merman follows him breaking out some pop and lock type moves.

Skeletor declares Merman the winner of this round.

Jitsu comes out adding marital arts moves to his dance attempt which leaves everyone in awe.

Beastman shuffles out next. Instead of bumbling around the floor as everyone expects he does some impressive shuffling and stomp moves that looks like a hip hop version tap dancing.

Skeletor declares the two a draw.

Trapjaw takes his turn on the floor. His interpretation of hip hop looks like a bunny tripping on mind altering substances.

Spikor comes out and trips up after a shaky start only to crash into the wall where his spikes get stuck.

Bad at it was Skeletor has to give this round to Trapjaw.

Modulok takes the floor-using his extra appendages to his advantage he puts on a very impressive display.

TwoBad starts off well but with both heads disagreeing what they should do-they soon end up in a fight with themselves.

Skeletor declares Modulok winner of the round.

Whiplash comes out-rears back on his tail and spins around on it.

Kobra Khan slithers out with some very slick moves on the floor that makes him look like a real pro.

Skeletor gives the round to Kobra Khan.

Evilyn takes her turn on the floor throwing down some very sexy moves.

Trikylops comes out next giving it his all-but his skills pale in comparison to the show Evilyn put on.

Skeletor pronounces Evilyn the winner.

Not content to be the losers Webstors team comes out full on Krumping. What starts as a dance brawl quickly turns into the real thing as the music ends.


	11. MMMBop

**no one other than my cousins seem to be much interested in these. i'm going to write the Man-At-Arms one from the poll after the two this week unless someone out there other than my cousins want to see more-i'm done with this series. my cousin iq battle winner knew the answer to the question i posed for whoever was first to get it right to pick a song for this story. said he knew it in a review just to make it offical so after confirming his answer i let him go ahead and pick the song since no one else answered before now. this was originally slated as part 18 or 19 but the series is loosing its novelty so i scraped several ideas and moved the last two up. i don't know whether my cousin is making fun of my taste in music or trying to throw me for a loop when he picked the song but i made it work or at least tried to. the answer if anyone is interested can be found in the commentary track to The Secret of the Sword.**

* * *

Eternian SpydorNet Presents:

The Masters (and Mistress if you want to get politically correct) with special guest He-Man in

MMMBop

The Masters are gathered in the practice room where they hone there skills for battle. This looks like any other run of the mill practice session until Ramman turns on some music. At first they all stand around and look at each other dumbfounded by the song but one by one they are all drawn in by its infectious nature throw down their weapons and begin dancing to the musical introduction.

Man-At-Arms boogies down with his bad self in true disco style as the others form a circle around him. After awhile he dances to the circle and slaps palms with Stratos.

Stratos breaks out some flamenco moves in time to the music as the circle dances around. He then exits bringing in Mossman.

Mossman proceeds to do a lively jig. As he heads back to the circle he brings in Buzzoff.

Buzzoff does the twist for his dance. Returning to the circle he brings in Mekanek.

Mekanek shows off his best Fosse inspired moves. As he leaves he brings in Teela.

Teela reprises her version of country line dancing. She brings in Orko who wanders into the room to see what's going on.

Orko looks around at the dancing circle of Masters before breaking into some air ballet type moves. He quickly exits though and brings in Roboto.

Roboto times his best robot moves to the song. As he exits to rejoin the circle he brings in Syklone.

Syklone cha cha chas to the music. Leaving he brings in Manefaces.

Manefaces tap dances jazz style. Rejoining the circle he brings in Ramman who got the party started.

Ramman polkas to the song before bringing in He-Man who has been hiding among the shadows outside the circle.

He-Man tries several times to leave after being pulled in but the dancing circle of masters block his exit. He shrugs then breaks out in some spicy salsa moves.

The masters dancing in the circle cheer and applaud as He-Man has finally redeemed himself and learned how to dance.

As the song ends He-Man leads the masters away in a dancing conga line.


	12. U Can't Touch This

**Overwhelmingly the vote went to Man-At-Arms Hammer-dancing to U Can't Touch this. The back-story to this one is that during the I'm too Sexy video brawl BattleCat's video camera got damaged and he took it to Man-At-Arms to be repaired.**

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Eternian SpydorNet Presents:

Man-At-Arms in

U Can't Touch This

'U Can't Touch This' plays in the background as-after fixing BattleCat's video camera Man-At-Arms tests it by panning around the lab several times-looking at the feed on the side screen. "Everything seems to be in working order now." He puts the camera down-closing the battery draining side screen but accidentally presses the pause button instead of stop.

The pause button-which was finicky long before the damage incurred thanks to Skeletor's unwelcome intrusion in the I'm Too Sexy video-soon pops back off resuming its recording.

Man-At-Arms looks at the time. Its getting very late. He steps out of framing checking out in the hall before locking the door to the lab. He hasn't told anyone he likes to relieve the stress of the day with a little dancing before he turns in for the night. He turns up the music before stepping back into frame and breaking out in the hammer-dance.

The camera records only background and music as Man-At-Arms steps out of the frame.

He removes his helmet armor and green body suit and dawns gold parachute pants.

When Man-At-Arms returns to frame he is bare-chested and wearing only the parachute pants as he starts the hammer-dance again. He really gets down with it as he gets into the song. He styles it up a bit adding Egyptian styled arm movements to the dance as he boogies down. He spins around several times. Straying from the hammer-dance he adds his own moves-doing a staccato trippy type forward version of something that resembles the moonwalk. He shimmies around in a circle before repeating his moonwalk dance in reverse. He jump turns a 180° and shakes his booty in some tailless approximation of BattleCat's famous tail twirling move from all his viral videos online. Man-At-Arms flips backward into a one-handed handstand which he holds for several seconds before popping up and turning 180° in the air before he lands. As he lands he slides down in the splits then slides back up. He then does a kicking leap ice skating tuck axle like turn before he breaks out into the hammer-dance again.

As the music fades out so does the picture as the video cameras battery dies.

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**poll in my profile-be sure record your answer.**


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